You Can't Know Me!

You can't hear me
You can't see me
How do you think
that makes me feel?
This sharp pain in my chest
you don't see it
you won't even listen about it
is that your guilt I see?

You tell me all these thing I should do
so why don't you follow through?

stop, this vomit, this hatred
is all caused by you

What makes the other three so important?
The attention you give, the money you spend
Those three get all they want while in pain
yet I'm cautioned against it
you think I'm just being needy!?
what do you know of my pain!?

My greatest moments
my lowest point
there's a reason why
you don't see them
Can you feel my scorn?

I smirk to myself
this 'fake world' I inhabit
this world you hate so much
your rejection pushed me here
where I slander you for all to see
isn't it poetic?

You never realised
this knife in my chest
it was your doing…

No one said I had to love you
yet my heart calls out just the same
(it's natural, right?)
Maybe I should pull this knife
from deep in my chest
the red blood reminds me
of the furry I feel for you
only my cold room
calms my rage into tears

not even family comforts me
(am I that alone?)

How do I know my pains
better than you do?
Aren't they caused by my period?
Don't make me laugh.
You never try to understand.

Why bother asking to be heard,
to be understood?
I know the answer is 'no'.
What about in the future?
(Probably not)

Maybe I should feign death
when I am finally away from you
(are you joyous or distressed?)
just to return the knife to you
maybe then, you'll know my pain
(I'll be too far away then)

In this pain, I take salt for sugar
to rub it in this wound
countering the pain you caused
(but even that isn't enough)

I can see how stressed you are
so I tried not to step on your toes
more so since that all the others do
but when will my turn come?
All other times are taken
I guess I can never turn to you.
(no matter how much I want to)
That's why I said
I wouldn't be a mother like you.
(I hope you felt the offense)
Have a good life. . . without me.